ophelia floats (opheliafloats) wrote,
ophelia floats

  • Mood:

oh joy, we welcome back insanity

In honor of my decision NOT to delete my LiveJournal (but instead go back and do some "weeding"), thanks to some advice and, ahem, mild prodding - I give you two "gems" from 2003 that I discovered during a walk down memory lane. Good lord, I thank anyone who has the patience to put up with me!


My Neighbor's Cat Is A Spy

[01 Aug 2003|07:40pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]
[ music | wz- grease paint and monkey brains]


"Mr. Fizzle"

1.Whenever I come home the feline in question appears at the windowsill as I pass the neighbor's house. This kind of behavior marks a carefully perfected study of my comings-and-goings and a not-so-subtle application thereof.

2. It does not readily respond when its name is called. This indicates that "Mr. Fizzle" is in fact an alibi and that the secret agent cat has not yet perfected an immediate reaction to this false title. He (although even "his" gender may in fact be part of the guise...) will, from this point on, be referred to as "Agent Meow".

3. On the afternoon of July the 15th of 2003, when returning from watering the plants outside my apartment, (and having left the door slightly ajar) Agent Meow was discovered conducting an active interrogation of the stuffed animal (of the gray tabby cat variety) that resides on my bed. When I inquired as to his intentions he promptly bolted out the door so as to escape an inevitable security breech.

4. Another behavioral characteristic that brings Agent Meow's identity into question is the uninhibited way that he offers his belly for pettings. As cat lovers well know, it is very rare for a feline to present itself in a position of such vulnerability. This is why it is obvious that these seemingly trusting advances have been carefully designed to gain access to my place of residence at will, as opposed to genuine show of affection.

These statements made, one can readily conclude that "Mr. Fizzle" is in fact a spy. The ultimate question remains- who does he work for?


(oops - I didn't copy the date)
Current mood:
Current music:

furry tails are cute

I had a strange dream. It was actually rather enjoyable, but that in itself is probably horrifying. 
I got some coffee and started walking down this street until I got to a house that had an overgrown herb-garden and a bunch of wind chimes. I knocked on the door and a hippie woman in a long flowing dress took me to the back room. It turned out she was a new-age doctor of some sort, and after a bit of prodding she informed me that I was pregnant. With a squirrel. The odd part is that this made me really happy. I was thinking to myself how cute squirrels were and how easy the birth itself would be because of the size of the "baby". She was smiling at me and then I got up and let myself out and started to walk home. I saw little black and gray squirrels running up tree trunks and was thinking to myself that soon I would have one of my own.
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